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WEST POINT — There’s broad agreement between professional counselors that people are vulnerable to experiencing grief or depression during the holiday season. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one or if you don’t have a family to celebrate the holidays with, isolation can lead to loneliness, grief and depression at a time of year when so much emphasis is put on celebrating with others.

In an effort to help local seniors cope with this, Chattahoochee Hospice on Wednesday had a program at the West Point Depot to offer helpful advice on what to be prepared for.

“We hope this season will bring cheer and hope into your lives,” said Hospice Administrator Adrian Holloway in opening the program. Holloway introduced members of the Chattahoochee Hospice leadership team who spoke to the large gathering about how to cope with grief should they encounter it.

The speakers included Miracle Williams, clinical coordinator; Rev. Michael Stiggers, chaplain and bereavement coordinator, and Rev. Kelsey Barnes, who talked to them about focusing on self care.

Williams, who is a nurse practitioner, said that it’s important to watch out for some potential obstacles that come with grief. “Closure is a myth,” she said. “Many people tend to deliver that grief shrinks with time. What really happens is that we grow around our grief. Instead of closure, we need to find ways of staying connected to our loved one and carry that connection into the future.”

Williams said that grief can get worse before it gets better. It’s normal for grief to come in waves. “A lot of times, once the shock and numbness about our loss wears off, you are faced with a new reality of life,” she said. “This can often be coupled with friends and family expecting you to start feeling better. It’s not unusual for grief to come in waves.”

Another myth is that time heals all wounds. “Time only passes,” Williams said. “It doesn’t heal. The intensity of your feelings might decrease over time as life beings moving on, but that doesn’t mean time is healing your grief, Acknowledging your grief is a key in dealing with it.”

Rev. Stiggers said that everyone experiences grief differently. “It’s not something anyone can tell you how or when it will happen to you or when you will be over it,” he said. “Everyone gives differently. Just as everyone went from kindergarten to the twelfth grade, you learn to deal with it, and it gets complicated at times. We hope we can help you with your grief in this holiday season.”

Stiggers said that it can be helpful to protect yourself in a vulnerable time by realizing that your physical, emotional, relational and spiritual parts need extra care.

Your physical side can be helped by:

•not overextending yourself – do activities until your body is tired, not till the task is finished or the event is over. It’s okay to sweep half a room;

•avoid too many time commitments; leave your schedule flexible;

•avoid too many responsibilities – just say no;

•prioritize your rest periods – schedule them, insist on them, stick to them;

•take extra care doing normal things like driving, walking up or down stairs, using knives.

Your emotional side involves being kind to yourself, not expecting yourself to be able to handle everything by yourself, not being surprised to sometimes feel overwhelmed or forgetful, not expecting to know all the right answers all the time, set time limits on “why” and “what if” sessions, understand that there will be sad days, it’s okay, but there will also be sudden joy at times and fits of silliness, anticipate positive outcomes, focus on it, expect it, believe in it.

Your relational side is helped by avoiding toxic people and situations – stay away from people and situations that drain your energy. Don’t take on jobs that aren’t yours, stop feeling other people’s feelings and concentrate on your own. Accept love and attention in any form. Don’t be afraid to ask for comforting. Be direct and specific with what you want or need. Find others who have strived similar things. Learn from them and take hope from them.

What’s good for your spiritual side? Express your feelings, both positive and negative. Reaffirm your beliefs regularly. Seek spiritual guidance, from others and in daily living. Be open to guidance from surprising sources. Ritual, prayer and worship services can renew a tired spirit.

The famed poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote that “Into each life some rain must fall.” Each person will experience painful loss in the form of the death of a loved one, a broken relationship, the loss of a job or a health crisis. Rev. Barnes discussed dealing with such a crisis. “It’s such a great loss to lost someone who is near and dear to us,” he said. “I miss my mother in ways some people don’t understand. I pray that we can all find comfort in God’s love.”

Barnes suggested practicing what’s known as lectio divina, or the traditional Christian practice of prayer, meditation, and reading scripture to deepen one’s relationship with God. Translated from Latin, the phase means “divine reading.”

“Listen to your heart,” Barnes said. “God will always say the right thing to you.”

Stiggers said that an important event in anyone’s life can happen when they are least expecting it, and there are always times of self doubt. “Sometimes we think we aren’t good enough, that we haven’t made the right decisions,” he said. “But I am sure your loved ones are grateful for you, for the laughter you shared with them and the tears your cried with them. Thank you for your prayers. I know that everyone you loved that you lost you prayed for them. Thank you for the memories you made and the joy you shared with those you love. Thank you on having been there. There’s no one else in the world who is exactly like you. You are the greatest for those who love you.”

The program ended with a moving ceremony of candles being lighted in memory of lost loved ones. Reach person in the room who wanted to mention the names of a parent, husband or wife, or son or daughter who are no longer alive stood in line and spoke their names when it was their time at the microphone. The line started with Chattahoochee Hospice physician Dr. Joe Downs speaking the names of his parents, Don and Ruth Downs. A candle was lighted in their memory and placed on a display rack. Several dozen people then followed, each one saying the name of someone they lost who was near and to them.

Some fought back tears as they said those names.

The very moving ceremony concluded with Revs. Staggers and Barnes speaking the names of loved ones they have lost.

“This is a way to make new memories of our loved ones who have gone on,” Stiggers said.

In concluding remarks, Holloway thanked the City of West Point for use of the building and each person in attendance. “I want to thank our staff for the work they do,” she said.

She any hospice organization will be there f0r anyone who has experienced the grief of losing a loved one. “If you ever need us, just call.” she said.